WHEN I WAS YOU
Author: Amber Garza
ISBN: 9780778361046
Publication Date: August 25, 2020
Publisher: MIRA Books
BUY LINKS:
BOOK SUMMARY:
YOU meets FATAL ATTRACTION in this up-all-night psychological
thriller about a lonely empty-nester's growing obsession with a young mother
who shares her name.
It all begins on an ordinary fall morning, when Kelly Medina gets
a call from her son's pediatrician to confirm her upcoming
"well-baby" appointment. It's a cruel mistake; her son left for
college a year ago, and Kelly has never felt so alone. The receptionist quickly
apologizes: there's another mother in town named Kelly Medina, and she must
have gotten their numbers switched.
But Kelly can't stop thinking about the woman who shares her name.
Lives in her same town. Has a son she can still hold, and her whole life ahead
of her. She can't help looking for her: at the grocery store, at the gym, on
social media. When Kelly just happens to bump into the single mother
outside that pediatrician's office, it's simple curiosity getting the better of
her.
Their unlikely friendship brings Kelly a renewed sense of purpose,
taking care of this young woman and her adorable baby boy. But that friendship
quickly turns to obsession, and when one Kelly disappears, well, the other one
may know why.
Chapter One
It was a Monday morning in early October when I first heard about you. I
was getting out of the shower when my phone rang. After throwing on a robe and
cinching it, I ran into my bedroom, snatching my cell off the nightstand.
Unknown number.
Normally, I let those go. But I’d already run all the way in here, and I
thought maybe it was a call from Dr. Hillerman’s office.
“Hello?” I answered, breathless. Goosebumps rose on my pale flesh, so I
pulled the robe tighter around me. My sopping wet hair dripped down my
back.
“Is this Kelly Medina?”
Great. A salesperson.
“Yes,” I answered, wishing I hadn’t picked up.
“Hi, Kelly, this is Nancy from Dr. Cramer’s office. I’m calling to
remind you of your well-baby appointment this Friday at ten am.”
“Well-baby?” I let out a surprised laugh. “You’re about nineteen years
too late.”
“Excuse me?” Nancy asked, clearly confused.
“My son isn’t a baby,” I explained. “He’s nineteen.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Nancy immediately replied. I could hear the clicking
of a keyboard. “I apologize. I called the wrong Kelly Medina.”
“There’s another Kelly Medina in Folsom?” My maiden name had been Smith.
There are a million other Kelly Smiths in the world. In California, even. But
since I’d married Rafael, I’d never met another Kelly Medina. Until now.
Until you.
“Yes. Her child is a new patient.”
It felt like yesterday when my child was a new patient. I remembered
sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Cramer’s office, holding my tiny newborn,
waiting for the nurse to call my name.
“I have no idea how this happened. It’s like your numbers got
switched in the system or something,” Nancy muttered, and I wasn’t sure if she
was talking to me or herself. “Again, I’m so sorry.”
I assured her it was fine, and hung up. My hair was still wet from the
shower, but instead of blow-drying it I headed downstairs to make some tea
first. On my way, I passed Aaron’s room. The door was closed, so I pressed it
open with my palm. The wood was cold against my skin. Shivering, I took in his
neatly made bed, the movie posters tacked to the wall, the darkened desktop
computer in the corner.
Leaning against the doorframe of Aaron’s room, my mind flew back to the
day he left for college. I remembered his broad smile, his sparkling eyes. He’d
been so anxious to leave here. To leave me. I should’ve been happy for
him. He was doing what I’d raised him to do.
Boys were supposed to grow up and leave.
In my head I knew that. But in my heart it was hard to let him go.
After closing Aaron’s door, I headed down to the kitchen.
The house was silent. It used to be filled with noise – Aaron’s little
feet stomping down the hallway, his sound effects as he played with toys, his
chattering as he got older. Now it was always quiet. Especially during the week
when Rafael stayed in the Bay Area for work. Aaron had been gone over a year.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now. But, actually, it seemed to get worse
over time. The constant silence.
The phone call had thrown me. For a second it felt like I’d gone back in
time, something I longed for most days. When Aaron was born everyone told me to
savor all the moments because it went by too quickly. It was hard for me to
imagine. I hadn’t had the easiest life growing up, and it certainly hadn’t
flown by. And the nine months I was pregnant with Aaron had gone on forever,
every day longer than the one before.
But they were right.
Aaron’s childhood was fleeting. The moments were elusive like a
butterfly, practically impossible to catch. And now it was gone. He was a man.
And I was alone.
Rafael kept encouraging me to find a job to fill my time, but I’d
already tried that. When Aaron first left, I applied for a bunch of jobs. Since
I’d been out of work for so long, no one wanted to hire me. That’s when
Christine suggested I volunteer somewhere. So I started helping out at a local
food bank, handing out food once a week and occasionally doing a little
administrative stuff. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t enough. It barely filled any
of my time. Besides, I was one of many volunteers. I wasn’t needed. Not the way
Aaron had needed me when he was a child.
When he left, the Kelly I’d always known ceased to exist. Vanished into
thin air. I was merely a ghost now, haunting my house, the streets, the
town.
As the water boiled, I thought about you. Thought about how lucky you
were to have a baby and your whole life ahead of you. I wondered what you were
doing right now. Not sitting alone in your big, silent house, I bet. No, you
were probably chasing your cute little baby around your sunny living room, the
floor littered with toys, as he crawled on all fours and laughed.
Was your child a boy? The lady on the phone didn’t say, but that’s what
I pictured. A chubby, smiling little boy like my Aaron.
The kettle squealed, and I flinched. I poured the boiling water in a mug
and steam rose from it, circling the air in front of my face. Tossing in the
tea bag, I breathed it in, leaning my back against the cool tile counter. The
picture window in front of me revealed our perfectly manicured front yard –
bright green grass lined with rose bushes. I’d always been particular about the
roses. When Aaron was a kid he always wanted to help with the pruning, but I
never let him. Afraid he’d mess them up, I guess. Seemed silly now.
Heart pinching, I blew out a breath.
I wondered about your yard. What did it look like? Did you have roses?
I wondered if you’d let your son help you prune them. I wondered if you’d make
the same mistakes I had.
Bringing the mug to my lips, I took a tiny sip of the hot tea. It was
mint, my favorite. I allowed the flavors to sit on my tongue a minute before
swallowing it down. The refrigerator hummed. The ice shifted in the ice maker.
My shoulders tensed slightly. I rolled them out, taking another sip.
Shoving off the counter, I was headed toward the stairs when my cell
buzzed inside my pocket. My pulse spiked. It couldn’t be Rafael. He was a
professor and his first class had already started.
Aaron?
Nope. It was a text from Christine.
Going to yoga this morning?
I’d already showered. I was about to tackle my latest organization
project. Today was the kitchen pantry. Last week I’d bought a bunch of new
containers and bins. Friday I’d spent the day labeling all of them. After
taking the weekend off since Rafael was home, I was anxious to continue with
it. I’d already organized several closets downstairs, but my plan was to work
my way through all the closets and cabinets in the house.
Usually I loved yoga, but I had way too much to do today.
No, I typed. Then bit
my lip. Backspaced. Stared at the phone. My own reflection emerged on the slick
screen - disheveled hair, pale face, dark circles under the eyes.
You need to get out more. Exercise. It’s not healthy to sit
in the house all day. Rafael’s voice
echoed in my head.
The organizing would still be here tomorrow. Besides, who was I kidding?
I’d probably only spend a couple of hours organizing before abandoning my
project to read online blogs and articles, or dive into the latest murder
mystery I was reading.
I typed, yes, then sent it and hurried to my room to get
ready.
Thirty minutes later, I was parking in front of the gym. When I stepped
out, a cool breeze whisked over my arms. After three scorching hot summer
months, I welcomed it. Fall had always been my favorite season. I relished the
festiveness of it. Pumpkins, apples, rustic colors. But mostly it was the
leaves falling and being raked away. The bareness of the trees. The shedding of
the old to make room for the new. An end, but also a beginning.
Although, we weren’t quite there yet. The leaves were still green, and
by afternoon the air would be warm. But in the mornings and evenings we got a
tiny sip of a fall, enough to make me thirsty for more.
Securing the gym bag on my shoulder, I walked briskly through the lot.
Once inside, it was even colder. The AC blasted as if it was a hundred-degree
day. That’s okay. It gave me more of an incentive to break a sweat.
Smiling at the receptionist, I pulled out my keys for her to scan my card. Only
my card wasn’t hanging from my key ring.
I fished around in my bag, but it wasn’t there either. Flushing, I
offered the bored receptionist an apologetic smile. “I seem to have misplaced
my tag. Can you look me up? Kelly Medina?’
Her eyes widened. “Funny. There was another lady in here earlier today
with the same name.”
My heart pounded. I’d been attending this gym for years and never had
anyone mentioned you before. I wondered how long you’d worked out here. “Is she
still here?” My gaze scoured the lobby as if I might recognize you.
“No. She was here super early.”
Of course you were. I used to be, too, when Aaron was an infant.
“Okay. You’re all checked in, Kelly,” the receptionist said, buzzing me
in.
Clutching my gym bag, I made my way up the stairs toward the yoga room,
thoughts of you flooding my mind. A few young women walked next to me, wearing
tight tank tops and pants, gym bags hanging off their shoulders. They were
laughing and chatting loudly, their long ponytails bouncing behind their heads.
I tried to say excuse me, to move past them, but they couldn’t hear me.
Impatient, I bit my lip and walked slowly behind them. Finally, I made it to
the top. They headed toward the cardio machines, and I pressed open the door to
the yoga room.
I spotted Christine already sitting on her mat. Her blond hair was
pulled back into a perfectly coifed ponytail. Her eyes were bright and her lips
were shiny. I smoothed down my unruly brown hair and licked my dry lips.
She waved me over with a large smile. “You made it.”
“Yep.” I dropped my mat and bag next to hers.
“I wasn’t sure. It’s been awhile.”
Shrugging, I sat down on my mat. “Been busy.”
“Oh, I totally get that.” She waved away my words with a flick of her
slender wrist. “Maddie and Mason have had a bazillion activities lately. I’ve
been running around town like a crazy person. I honestly feel like I’m going
insane.”
“Sounds rough,” I muttered, slipping off my flip-flops. This was the
problem with getting married and having a kid so young. Most of my friends were
still raising families.
“I know, right? I can’t wait until they’re adults and I can do whatever
I want.”
“Yeah, it’s the best,” I said sarcastically.
Her mouth dropped. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about you…” Her pale
cheeks turned pink. “I know how much you miss Aaron. It’s just…”
I shook my head and offered her a smile “Relax. I get it.”
Christine and I met years ago in a yoga class. She’s one of those women
with almost no self-awareness. It’s what first drew to me to her. I loved how
raw and real she was. Other people shied away from her, unable to handle her
filter-less statements. But I found her refreshing and, honestly, pretty
entertaining.
“I remember how insane it was when Aaron was younger,” I said.
“One year he signed up for baseball and basketball. They overlapped for
a bit, and I swear I was taking him to a game or practice like every day.”
“Yes!” Christine said excitedly, relief evident in her expression.
“Sometimes it’s all just too much.”
“Yeah, sometimes it is,” I agreed.
The class was about to start and the room was filling up. It was mainly
women, but there were some men. Most of them were with their wives or
girlfriends. I’d tried getting Rafael to come with me before, but he laughed as
if the idea was preposterous.
“Remember when there were only a few of us in this class?” Christine asked,
her gaze sweeping the room.
I nodded, glancing around. There were so many new people I didn’t know.
Not that I was surprised. Folsom had grown a lot in the ten years I’d lived
here. New people moved here every day.
Staring at all the strangers crowding around us, I shivered, my thoughts
drifting back to you. We hadn’t even met, and yet I felt like I knew you. We
had the same name, the same gym, the same pediatrician for our child.
It felt like kismet. Fate had brought you here to me. I was certain of
it.
But why?
Excerpted from When I Was You by Amber Garza, Copyright © 2020 by Amber Garza. Published by
MIRA Books.
MY REVIEW:
When I Was You by Amber GarzaMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Wow, what a book. I read it in 1 sitting. I could not put it down.
Kelly Medina gets a phone call from a pediatrician's office for her child's appointment. But her child is an adult so they realized they called the wrong Kelly Medina. Well Kelly thought that was really weird. Then she heads to Yoga class and signs in and was told there was a Kelly Medina there that morning. So now she wants to find out who this Kelly is.
Then they meet up and Kelly meets this much younger women with a baby and yes the same name. So Kelly friends her and kind of stalks her.
I had a feeling what had happened and I was right just a little bit but I didn't realize some other things until we get further in the book and that ending wow. Run out and buy this book. You will not be disappointed.
Thank you to Harlequin and NetGalley for the ARC.
View all my reviews
BIO:
Amber Garza has had a passion for the written word since she was a child making books out of notebook paper and staples. Her hobbies include reading and singing. Coffee and wine are her drinks of choice (not necessarily in that order). She writes while blaring music, and talks about her characters like they're real people. She lives with her husband and two kids in Folsom, California, which is—no joke—home to another Amber Garza.
SOCIAL:
Author Website: http://www.ambergarza.com/
TWITTER: @ambermg1
Insta: @ambergarzaauthor
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